I’m living in a hotel right now. We’re in transition and don’t yet have a house. Scratch that – we don’t even have a mortgage approval yet. Well, we did. But we lost it. Why?


We drove up here Saturday, November 5. I’d just had my last day at Whole Foods (loved that job) and the plan was to transfer to the Whole Foods up here. I even went to the store and introduced myself the next day. I met the team leader of the department I want to work in and he told me, “When you’re ready and you want a job, come on in!”

And then Monday came.

I was with my realtor and my cousin who offered to help us look for houses since she’s been living here for years. We were standing in the front yard of one house I’d had my eye on in the neighborhood of my dreams. My kids were buckled into their seats, waiting patiently for me to get in the car. I almost did. But my realtor had a last minute thought and stopped me to continue our conversation and, in doing so, she saved not only my life but my boys’ lives, too.

The last thing I remember is standing at my driver’s side with the door open and talking with my realtor over the roof of my car. The next thing I remember is waking up on the ground with the paramedics. A grand mal seizure had come out of nowhere.

My cousin recounted the experience for me. During the conversation (she was standing just a few feet away from me), I suddenly stepped away from my car and walked around behind her. She thought I wanted to get another look at the front of the house. Then she heard the thud and turned around to find me on the ground, convulsing and unconscious. The seizure lasted nearly two minutes, and when I woke, I had no idea that it happened. All I knew was that I was on the ground (but didn’t know how I got there), felt more sluggish than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, and it slowly gave way to severe nausea.

I have no history of seizures. I’m 35 years old. I had no reason to anticipate such a thing happening to me.

The part that breaks me: I was minutes away from getting in my car with my two boys and driving down a street that runs perpendicular to a major roadway. I would have lost control of my car and plowed right into the middle of that traffic. My kids… I almost lost my kids. That’s the part that scares me the most. If my realtor hadn’t kept me talking, I would have been behind the wheel when the seizure struck. If you add it all up, I’ve probably spent hours sitting in the tub under the hot water, crying.


I don’t know yet what caused it. I have an MRI and EEG scheduled for early next month. In the meantime, I’m not allowed to drive for six months (state law), so I spend a lot of time depending on other people. It’s amazing what I took for granted just because I could drive a car.

The whole incident cost us my income for the mortgage pre-approval, so we lost it. Now we’re struggling to find a way to make it work while we pay our mortgage for the old house and hotel fees for each week we’re here. If our old house would sell, we’d be approved without a problem. But it’s not even on the market yet because, from the moment we found out we were moving to the day we actually left, we had two weeks’ notice. Ironically, the mortgage we are trying to get will be cheaper than the hotel rates we’re paying now, by about $500 a month, and money is tight.

I got the kids into a local school, so there’s that. As you might be able to tell, I haven’t been able to participate in NaNoWriMo as I’d planned. It’s something I’d looked forward to ALL year. So it goes.

We’re praying. There will be a way. I’m hoping we’ll be out of this hotel before Christmas.

I came here to tell you that I posted a new chapter to Haven (the Sam Winchester AU), and ended up spilling my guts. Sorry about that. Please read & enjoy! And remember to vote.


PS – If you know of any remote/telecommuting/work-from-home job postings (that are not direct sales), please let me know. ❤


4 thoughts on “NaNoNoNo.

  1. Thanks for sharing this, Nicole. Don’t apologise for spilling your guts, it’s what a blog is for! I think we all forget that, sometimes, and think of it merely as a means of self-promotion. My girlfriend is diagnosed epileptic, so seizures are something we live with all year round; even so, they’re still scary for us both. I can only imagine how it must feel to have one completely out the blue with no previous history of them. I really feel for you there. It’s important to remember that life keeps going, and we can’t let the fear of something hinder us. As you’ve written here, it could have potentially been so much worse (in your car, with your kids, etc) and we have to be thankful it wasn’t  I hope the Doctors get to the bottom of it for you! And I wouldn’t worry too much about NaNo, there’s always next year! (Or just do it a month/2 months late! Who’s to say there’s any rules?). I really hope it all works out, and that everything slots into place 

    Liked by 1 person

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