Drowning

my clothes are soaked
heavy, wet and cold
waist-deep in a murky river
muddied and opaque
i cannot see my feet
it’s hard as hell to move
my fingers are frozen
my hands are numb
the water just keeps rising
and the rain continues falling
i don’t recognize this place
though, once, i knew it well
it is altered in the flood
and i’m lost in the water now
there are faces in the windows
wide eyes and pitiful lips
warms lights glowing from within
but they dare not step into the rain
the doors are locked and bolted
this loneliness, though, is no stranger
the pelting rain is drowning me
the current carries me downstream
the water’s getting deeper
my body’s growing colder
my eyes are clouded by raindrops
amidst all the commotion
i hear your voice pierce through the noise
calling out my name
there you stand, clean
and dry
reaching out to me
i struggle to keep my head up
but the water is proving too strong
i’m swept right off my feet
and fight to stay afloat
to make my way to you
but i am now too weak
i cannot go on
i can’t let you help me
i don’t want to pull you in
Please, stop calling out my name!
it’s tearing at my heart
i turn my head away
my tears burn my blurry eyes
my ears ringing with your anguished voice
Please! Stop calling me
it only makes it harder
just go back inside the building
and go on with your life
don’t watch me float away
just hold onto your happiness
and not this tragic ending
i’m sorry if i’ve hurt you
but you must know it’s for the best
you have to let me go now…
i’m in over my head.
thank God i cannot see your face
nor any longer hear your voice
i think its safe to tell you now…

i loved you